Post #198 January 13 2020
“Get in late, get out early”
For our study of Point #9 in the storylab listing of
good storytelling practices, I refer back to Post #189 and thank the website storysci.com
for this advice…
“Start as late as
possible in your scene or story to provide both audience interest and optimal
conflict, and then end the scene as soon the conflict has run its course.
This doesn’t mean truncating valuable exposition or foregoing
a beginning, but it does mean opening where the vital information starts. And
once the scene or story has said all there is that needs to be said, get out!
Don’t hang around and dawdle or you will be diluting your story’s final punch.
For example, the audience doesn’t need to witness an entire 4-hour board
meeting. They only need to see the handful of minutes that count. In short:
focus on where the action is happening.”
This is all about grabbing
the reader immediately and keeping him (or her) hooked by concentrating in your
story on what is most important.
I like to start a
story right in the middle of the action.
For example, in my sf short story ‘Second Sun,’ this is the opening
paragraph:
Not everyone was happy about having a
second Sun. That’s why the Guardians
sent me to Bernini in the first place.
Kisan Malakel, engineering inspector 1st class for the
Concordance. I had an official job to do
and that was to make sure everything aboard station Bernini was up to
spec…the gas pulses streaming off Saturn’s atmosphere were coming in on
schedule…the deflector controls were receiving and diverting the pulses
properly into Jupiter’s atmosphere…the King of Planets was bulking up on
schedule so the thing could be ignited on time…that all aspects of the Second
Sun project were proceeding according to calculations. Oh, I had a job all right. But my real job was to sabotage the whole
works, sabotage the deflector system, and get away before station Bernini was
likely destroyed by an incoming pulse.
Say what you will, this paragraph grabs you right
away. The premise itself is fairly
unique. And we learn in the last
sentence that the narrator is there to sabotage the whole works.
Hook
the reader’s interest early. Use
conflict. Something unique. Some memorable or unexpected details of
setting or character. The storysci.com
advice is well intentioned. Ask yourself what you like to read when a
story opens. Do you want to read the entire
minutes of a four-hour board meeting? Or
do you want to know why the CEO has a loaded gun in his lap and what he plans
to do with it? Will he murder the entire
board? Threaten everyone to get better
quarterly results? Take out his
frustrations on the HR guy? Just the
suspense alone in the situation I’ve sketched should keep a reader turning the
pages. That’s what you want.
The
advice to get in late and get out early is really about doing whatever it takes
to advance the story…and only that.
Unless it’s germane to the story, sets up motivation, reveals character
or something like this, leave the rest out.
Remember what ultimately drives a story forward: Your hero has a problem
and wants to solve it; people or situations or life gets in the way solving the
problem and conflict develops; tension rises as the hero is continuously
frustrated; just when your hero is about to blow his stack, he solves the
problem or at least fails magnificently and the problem is resolved. Every
single word in your story should be traceable back to one of these
elements. If it can’t be, take it out.
Focus
on the action. Your characters should be
doing something to solve their problem, not just sitting around bitching
and moaning. When you convey to your
wife what happened at the office today, do you drop every last detail on her or
do you give her the highlights and the most dramatic parts? It’s the same with storytelling.
Picture this: Og and Grog are sitting around the
campfire one evening after a dinner of mammoth meat and tree roots. Og is sharpening his spear points. Grog is skinning a hide. Og grunts and gestures at Grog: “If you had
followed my orders, you wouldn’t have been injured by that mammoth, you stupid
dolt.” After some loud arguing back and
forth, and few threats, Slamdok intervenes and, using more gestures and grunts,
recounts the events of the day that led to Grog’s injury and tonight’s
dinner. Some modifications are made to
the account and after awhile, after everyone is stuffed with enough mammoth
meat and some fermented berries that Slamdok’s wife made, everybody agrees that
this is what happened. The day’s hunt
goes down in the annals of the tribe as “the way things happened.”
It becomes a legend.
Later, maybe a myth.
Man is preeminently a storytelling animal. We don’t know if this is how stories began
but we do know, from research, that stories have for generations served a profoundly
important evolutionary purpose.
I
have posted about this before. Why does our brain love stories so much? In an article from the Greater Good Science
Center (University of California, Berkeley) in December 2013, neurobiologist
Paul Zak says this:
“The first part of the answer is that as
social creatures who regularly affiliate with strangers, stories are an
effective way to transmit important information and values from one individual
or community to the next. Stories that are personal and emotionally compelling
engage more of the brain, and thus are better remembered, than simply stating a
set of facts.
“Think of this as the “car accident effect.”
You don’t really want to see injured people, but you just have to sneak a peek
as you drive by. Brain mechanisms engage saying there might be something
valuable for you to learn, since car accidents are rarely seen by most of us
but involve an activity we do daily. That is why you feel compelled to
rubberneck.
“To understand how this works in the brain, we
have intensively studied brain response that watching (compelling video)
produces. We have used this to build a predictive model that explains why after
watching the video, about half of viewers donate to a charity. We want to know
why some people respond to a story while others do not, and how to create
highly engaging stories.
“We discovered that there are two key aspects
to an effective story. First, it must capture and hold our attention. The
second thing an effective story does is “transport” us into the characters’
world.”
Grabbing
and maintaining attention and building empathy for your characters are thus two
critically important jobs that any storyteller has to complete. There is now strong neural evidence to
support this.
Get
in late, get out early. Leave your
readers gasping for more, to know more, to learn what happens. One of the best ways to do that is to follow
point #9.
The
next post to The Word Shed comes on January 20. This post will cover the final point in our
storylab sequence: ‘Characters, characters, characters.’
See
you then.
Phil
B.