Post #29 May 2, 2016

“Reviews: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”

In 2014, I uploaded an alternate history novel called Final Victory to Smashwords.com.  One reviewer from Goodreads had this to say about it, after giving the story 4 out of 5 stars:

“It is a little known fact that the Manhattan Project assembled four nuclear weapons before the end of the Second World War.  One, of course, was tested at Trinity Site, New Mexico and one each was dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, as we all know.  The last was held in secrecy in the event Japan did not unconditionally surrender.  Philip Bosshardt postulates how close to catastrophe we might have come if the Russians and the Japanese had cooperated on information gleaned from the sieve-like security surrounding the mad dash to perfect an atom bomb.  This epic-length saga tells a chilling tale that rings true at every convolution of the plot.  The historical backdrop is expertly woven, the characters fully developed and the pace nearly perfect.  All fans of historical fiction and alternate history are going to love Final Victory.”

Then another review came in just a few months ago, on my new series Nanotroopers.  This reviewer offered no words, but gave the episode two out of five stars.

So much for reviews.  Actually, book reviewers and reviewers are a godsend to any author, regardless of what they say or whether they love the book or just can’t stomach it.  Why? 

1. It’s feedback, man, from an actual reader.  Writing is by nature a mostly solitary art.  Musicians and actors (especially stage actors) can get nearly instant feedback on their performance.   Not so, writers.  You often feel like you’re working in a vacuum.  Reviewers tell you whether the story is any good.  Reviewers tell you how your efforts and your words have struck them.  It’s often bare-knuckles stuff…I like this, I don’t like this, it put me to sleep, the author should be up for a Nobel, whatever.  All feedback, however well or ill-intended, is useful.  Just seeing your story through another reader’s eyes can give you a new perspective on what worked, what didn’t, what could be improved, what really got their blood pumping.  It should make you a better writer and story-teller.
2. It’s a form of advertising.  One Hollywood wag once said all publicity was good publicity. Just ask Madonna or Lady Gaga.  Reviews can be used to promote your work to others.  Word of mouth and unsolicited testimonials are even better than advertising in many ways.   Who’s opinion would you trust more on what book to read: you’re Aunt Ada or a paid professional on TV or the Internet?  Reviews give you some guidance on what’s trending, what’s hot, what you ought to be looking out for.  Of course, blogs like this one as well as Twitter and Facebook carry some of the same freight now for authors.  More on that later.
3. Every review is a conversation.  Most reviewers are predisposed to write something, good or bad, because they feel strongly about what they just read.  In another words, they’re passionate.  It’s a truism today that authors need to do whatever it takes to identify their readers and engage with them, in other words, start a conversation.  There are valid marketing reasons to do this.  Some websites like Wattpad encourage a writer-reader connection, where the writer can post sections of a work for immediate feedback.  Many readers are very interested, even thrilled, to be able to contribute to fleshing out a story, suggesting possible plot lines, characters, settings, whatever.  A reader who invests time in a review is a reader who wants to have a conversation.  It may be a suggestion for how to do things differently in the future.  It may be a poke in the eye, or the literary equivalent of a Bronx cheer.  Regardless, accept it for what it is…an attempt to engage with the author in some kind of interchange.  Authors should never let an opportunity for interchange with their readers go by.
    
   The Word Shed will take a two-week hiatus during the first two weeks of May 2016.  The next post will be on May 16.  This one will be about researching a book.  How much time and effort should you invest in research?  Research can vary from building an entire world or universe as some SF authors do to writing about your next-door neighbor’s odd predilection for chickens and barnyard animals.  Striking a happy medium between generating an encyclopedia and winging it will be our theme. 
    
   See you May 16.
    
   PB

 

“To Outline or Not to Outline, That is the Question”

In my second post to The Word Shed, I said this about outlines:

My outline drives everything, including the people (what I used to call characters), even details of the setting.  From the few sentences I’ve already written, if this idea continues to hang around and doesn’t go away, I begin a process of elaborating and structuring that takes anywhere from a few days to a few months. 

I’m a big outliner.  I can’t write a story without having some idea of where the story is supposed to go.  Other writers try to ‘wing it’, and let the story evolve organically.  More power to ‘em.  I need the structure of an outline.

Having said that, though, doesn’t mean I don’t deviate from the outline.  You deviate when the story pulls you in another direction.  When an idea crops up.  When a character just won’t do what you want.  When there’s a new idea or emotion or conflict you want to explore and dramatize.  There’s nothing wrong with this at all.  But I still write it down.

Reasons to Have an Outline

1.     Consistency.  It’s like framing for a house.  It holds the story together, gives it a skeleton to hang scenes on.  A strong plotline is vital to keep moving the story forward, to give the players believability and to keep the reader interested (probably the most important of all).  It’s possible to draw characters who are so compelling that they’re interesting in and of themselves.  But it’s better to give them something to do.  Some critics say plotline is nothing but character in action.  I agree.

2.     Keeping Order.  Novels often have multiple plotlines.  John’s story.  Mary’s story.  The trip to London.  The abduction by aliens.  An outline allows you to maintain continuity from one scene to another, so that in Scene 1, John has red hair and in Scene 12 he still has read hair and now two heads.  Novels have lots of details.  Readers notice details.  Outlines help you keep some order among the details so that mistakes and obvious inconsistencies don’t creep in (as much).

3.     Keeping the End in Sight.  With an outline, you know where you’re going.  The scenes and conflicts necessary to get there are already established, in theory.  If the ultimate resolution of all the action is firmly set up ahead of time, you’ll find you can write scenes that work toward that resolution, perhaps from different angles and with plenty of complications, but always knowing where you want to end up.  I once watched my dog demonstrate just how powerful his sense of smell really was.  He veered to one side of the street, then another, then back, in ever-tightening arcs until he finally homed in on the target of his interest.  Following an outline to a previously established resolution is kind of like that.  And sometimes the target turns out to be the same thing my dog was after…and I won’t go into any more detail on that.

 

Reasons to Deviate from an Outline or Have No Outline

 

1.     You think up a new plot complication.   Every writer is a crockpot of bubbling ideas.  Sometimes, an idea surfaces that just won’t go away.  Ask yourself: is it believable the character could run into this or experience this?  Does it advance the plot or reveal a side of the character that otherwise wouldn’t be shown?  Would it be neat and kinda fun to have this happen?  If the answer to any of these is yes, go for it!  Just make sure it doesn’t lead you down an off-ramp to some dismal swamp of storyland you can’t write your way out of.  In other words, think it through.

2.     The outline is no good.  Ah, now we come to the great Berlin Wall of all writers.  Everything I’ve done so far is mush.  I need to start over.  Well…maybe…maybe not.  Perhaps, you didn’t work out the story details properly in the beginning.  You start to get the feeling that the words in front of you are just words going nowhere.  You’re sure nobody will believe what you’re writing.  You don’t believe it yourself.  Well, don’t despair.  This is why Microsoft Word has an Undo button…or a Delete button.  Trust your instincts.  Where does the story want to go?  Go there.  You might want to jot down a few notes, just in case, just to keep this new plotline on track.  Probably, the original problem is a poorly-conceived outline from the start.  Only you can decide whether it’s worth re-outlining or just winging it. 

3.     I need elbow room to grow the story.  Outlines cramp my style.   This is okay, as I said before. Let’s face it: our writerly muses work differently, from writer to writer.  Many writers value the spontaneity that comes from winging it.  They like to be surprised when they sit down to type.  They’ve done enough research and so internalized their characters’ motivations and backgrounds, that they can type away, inside the virtual world of the story, and be confidant that what comes out will be readable, believable and fresh.  There are times when writing works this way for me too.  But for me, it comes from when I’ve done a lot of preliminary work. 

 

Let’s face, every writer lives for that artistic moment when the story just flows and you can’t type fast enough to get it all down.  That’s when writing is a joy.  But a pro needs to be able to put words on paper (or on screen) when the words don’t flow and still have it all hang together.  That’s why I outline.

 

Next week’s post to The Word Shed will be on a subject common to all writers, one that gives every writer thrills and chills, sometimes at the same time.  I’m talking about Reviews…the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. 

 

See you on May 2.

 

Phil B.

 

 

 

 

 

“Stalking the Blank Page”

Every writer faces the same beast everyday…the white wall of the blank page.  The white monster.  The blank screen.  For troglodytes who write longhand, the empty pad.  Whatever you want to call it, every writer sweats a little getting up in the morning, wondering how today is going to go…I’ve got that deadline, I’ve got to churn out 2000 words or 5 pages or whatever it is.

Over the years, I’ve developed some tricks to help me get motivated and stay in the story and get my motor running at the start of the day.  Here are some….

1.     Study the previous day’s work before you go to bed.  Fix the last sentence or two in your mind. Let your unconscious ruminate on it.  I find myself lying awake in the early morning hours, with words and snatches of sentences circulating through my head.  In fact, if I do this right, I find I can’t wait to get these words that have been bugging me all night down so I can go forward and see what happens next.  Often, it just takes a sentence or two to get the juices flowing.

2.     Tell yourself it’s only a page (or 2 or five…).  You can do at least one (or more) pages.  Or maybe you’re on the hook for 2000 words a day.  Whatever the grind demands, if you can convince yourself it’s not really that much and won’t take that long, you may well find yourself in a better frame of mind.  In my case, for the Nanotroopers series, I’ve set myself a goal of 2 good pages a day.  Doesn’t sound like much—and it isn’t, truthfully—but it adds up.  It’s more important to have a schedule that works and adhere to it faithfully, even when you don’t really feel like it.  Then, you can feel satisfied seeing the pages pile up.  And I do print out what I’ve written, just to see that.

3.     At the end of the writing day, stop in the middle of a sentence.  This helps keep the story fixed in your mind.  I find that whatever I need to do to ‘stay in the story’ is helpful.  I might spend a few minutes the night before just scanning my notes, or drawings or maps or background materials…whatever it takes.  I rely on my subconscious a lot to percolate ideas and stir them up like a big crockpot.  Trust your instincts.

4.     Follow a daily schedule.  Do things you need to do to get ready.  Every writer is different in this area.  Me…I’m hyper-organized.  I stick to a schedule like bad news to a politician.  I have papers organized at my workplace just so.  I set up files, even computer files, the same way and keep them up regularly.  If you do this, you’ll find that your brain slips into idea mode as a matter of course, when it knows what to expect.

5.     Have an outline but don’t be afraid to deviate if the story seems to pull you in another direction.  I’ve covered this in previous posts but it’s really important to me and being motivated.  See points 1 and 2.  This is all about not being afraid of the blank page, because you already really know what you’re going to do…it’s just a matter of doing it.  Most writers fear not knowing what to say or write, not having the right words flowing out.  Young writers sometimes get bad advice about letting the words just flow.  Let me tell you: that seldom happens.  It does happen, but it’s also more likely to happen to a  well-prepared mind.  Now, there are plenty of writers who swear by having no outlines and just write, putting one word after another, and cleaning up the mess later.  Nothing wrong with that.  But it’s wasteful and time-consuming to my hyper-organized mind.  I motivate myself best by telling myself that the next day’s work is just a matter of fleshing out an already-existing outline.

6.     Write every day…at least 5 days a week.  This goes along with working to a schedule and staying in the story. Writing and story-telling comes a lot easier if it’s done regularly.  That shouldn’t be a big surprise to anyone.  Anything you do regularly is something you’re almost bound to do better than if you do it in spurts and fits and starts.  Writing, exercising, cooking, marriage…you have to work at all of them every day.

7.     Finally, take breaks.  Do something non-writerly for awhile.  Get your exercise.  Do something where your brain can disengage and free-wheel.  For me, some kind of physical exertion…I happen to be a swimmer but this could be anything…works well.  Mow the lawn, weed the garden, paint a mailbox…anything that doesn’t involve a lot of mental horsepower will work.  This is like letting off the clutch on your imagination and allowing it to spin freely.  I find that anything I can do like this helps me get ideas, concoct plot deviations, create knockout sentences, and generally get to the end of the first draft faster.

All of these tricks work for me.  I use them regularly.  Other writers have different tricks.  I offer them to budding writers as a way of working that will help grease the machinery of imagination and keep you churning out prose that sings. 

Next week’s post to The Word Shed will look at why you have an outline (which I’ve covered in earlier posts) and why you sometimes have to deviate from it. 

See on April 25.

Phil B.

“Sketching Characters…How Much Detail?”

Some authors of fiction let their characters develop as the story grows, adding details as the story seems to dictate.  There’s nothing wrong with this approach.  But it’s not for me.  I’m an outliner.  For novel-length work, it’s often hard to keep track of details.  Plus you want to be consistent in your details.  A character who is blond on page 30 should still be blond on page 230, unless he’s had a makeover and it’s relevant to the story.

Toward that end, here are the details I developed about one of the main characters in The Farpool.  His name is Chase Meyer.  I did this as part of my preparation, long before I typed the first word of the story.

Chase Meyer

Age: 18

Height: 6’0”

Weight: 165lbs

Hair: Blond brown, wave on top, short on the sides, has a lock that he combs down over his right eye.  Sort of a surfer look, circa 22^nd century Florida.

Face: faint blond beard and moustache, blue eyes, scar above right eye due to fishing accident, chin dimple (not easily seen), big ears

Other Distinguishing Features:  broad shoulders and thin waist of a competition swimmer; big feet; girls at AHS sometimes call him “Flip”, short for Flipper, since he’s a natural and powerful swimmer; friends sometimes make a play on his name by saying “Chase is the place”; long, pianist fingers. Has an artistic bent, is good with the guitar and a hybrid musical instrument called a go-tone (sort of a cross between a guitar and a violin).  Tall and lanky (think Michael Phelps).

A Short Biography: Chase Meyer was born on September 1, 2103, youngest child of Mack and Cynthia Meyer.  Chase has an older brother Kenneth (Kenny), now living in Miami as an architect and an older sister Jamie, married and living in Dallas.  Jamie is a radio station DJ on KPTX “Party 101 FM”, a classic and hybrid techjam station.  His parents named him Chase because they figured he would always be ‘chasing’ his brother and sister.  Chase hates his name.  He actually prefers Flip.

When he was three years old, Chase almost drowned in a community pool on Coral Road, out near Duncan Field.  Only the quick work of a lifeguard saved his life and he suffered no lasting effects.  Rather than being intimidated by water and pools, Chase responded with great interest.  By the time he was five, he wanted to be a lifeguard.  He began swim lessons at age 6 and took naturally to water.  It was around this time that he earned the nickname Flip, which he endures.

At age 6, Chase entered Turtle Key Elementary School.  Education in the early 22^nd century is a mix of at-home robotic and WorldNet tutoring and in-class projects.  Chase was always an indifferent student, not much given to studying.  He learns best by doing, usually making mistakes and hurting himself in the process.  As a very young child, he most enjoyed helping his Dad around the surf shop, doing odd jobs like straightening things up, sweeping out the store, cleaning off tables at the fountain.  Even as a young child, he had blond surfer-boy looks which endeared him to females of all ages.

In school, his favorite subject was science, especially biology.  Chase was always an outdoors-oriented guy, with a special love for fish, dolphins and all marine life.  He sometimes envisioned himself as a Navy diver, but his Dad, Mack, doubted he would do well under military discipline.  Still the interest was there.  Chase often pestered his Dad for scuba lessons.  Sometimes, Mack let Chase come along on scuba trips out in the Gulf, where his Dad was training and certifying divers.  The Turtle Key Surf Shop soon morphed into a new business: Mack Meyer Dives.  Chase thought this was all neat.

In school at both Turtle Key and later at Apalachee High, Chase’s best friend was Stokey Shivers.  Chase and Stokey were borderline delinquents and were both nearly tossed out of school several times.  One incident, when both were in sixth grade, almost kept them from graduating on to Apalachee Middle High.

Around the beginning of the year 2114, Stokey and Chase were exploring caves out along a ridge off Coral Road.  Underground, partially underwater limestone caverns.  Chase had been warned against this by Mack, his father.  They had scuba gear, but found they didn’t need it.  They dared each other to veer off the main cave branch into an unknown and unexplored branch, known locally as Crocodile Corner, or colloquially as ‘The Croc.”  They promptly got lost.

Stokey became very frightened.  But Chase viewed it as a simple matter of figuring things out.  He remembered he had been tinkering with Bailey, his old pet flying drone, after his Dad had given it to him.  He had added some voice recognition routines and some olfactory sensors.  Now, lost deep inside The Croc’s Corner, he yelled at the top of his voice, even with the echoes, in the hopes that Bailey the Flying Dude would detect his voice, and his scent, and come to rescue them.  And, after a few hours of listening to Stokey’s sniffling and whining, Bailey did find them and led them out of the Coral Road caves and Croc’s Corner.

Mack and Cynthia were elated to finally have Chase home safe and sound.  They smothered him with hugs and kisses.  Then they paddled him good and sent him to his room.  He was grounded for three months.  And he began drifting apart from Stokey after that, though a complete break took several years. 

Not more than a year into high school at Apalachee High, Chase developed his first crush.  Her name was Cindy (Cynthia) Benitez and she had waist-length blond hair and a voluptuous body, for a fourteen-year old.  Her face was slightly freckled and framed like a portrait by her blond tresses.

Chase wanted to date her.  Not being particularly shy, he seldom found himself tongue-tied around girls but with Cindy, found himself stammering when in her presence.  Finally, he asked her out, paid his older brother Kenny to act as a chauffeur and drive them to a slam concert in Gainesville.  It was great fun but when Chase took advantage of Kenny’s brief disappearance after the concert (he went to have drinks with some buddies), and seized the moment to make advances on Cindy, she rebuffed him and ran away from the car.  Chase suffered the embarrassment of having to report his to Kenny and to the police, who managed to find Cindy near a girl’s restroom at the concert hall.  The police did an investigation, decided no crimes had been committed and released all the kids to the only semi-adult among them: Kenny.  But Cindy would not ride back to Scotland Beach in that car and Kenny had to buy a PRT ticket (personal rapid transit…a robotic taxi) for her to get home.  He wound up with no money and had to borrow some from Chase.  Worse, Cindy reported the incident to her parents and both Kenny and Chase had some serious explaining to do back home, to both sets of parents.  They were lucky that no one pressed charges.  But that was the end of any relationship with Cindy and Algebra class for the rest of the year was a bit of a strain for both of them.  Kenny called this the “Hound Dog Affair,” because their parents made them both wail like hound dogs for weeks afterward, with grounding and chores. 

As in elementary and middle school, Chase was an indifferent student, except in Biology.  He was always better in Science than anything else.  In June 2117, when Chase was a junior at Apalachee High, his Dad Mack Meyer was seriously wounded in a holdup at the surf shop.  This was a time of grave crisis for the Meyer family.  Mack suffered head and abdominal wounds and only some serious medbotic intervention saved his life.   For nearly two weeks, Chase and the family gathered daily at the University Hospital in Gainesville, while medbotic inserts and surgeries were performed on his Dad.  His prognosis was touch and go, but eventually he pulled through.  To this day, however, Mack lives with an internal fleet of nanoscale medbots inside his body, constantly prowling for scar tissue, blood clots, etc and other residual effects of the multiple gunshot wounds.  Chase started calling his Dad ‘Bot Man’ after these procedures, as he sported some enhanced capabilities as a result of the interventions.  One of them is greatly improved lung capacity, as a result of hosting a cadre of respirocytes, which were needed to help him with a collapsed lung.  The respirocytes have had the unintended effect of boosting his lung capacity, which helps Mack with scuba lessons. 

One result of this medical crisis is that Chase met a young girl who worked at the hospital as a Red Cross volunteer.  Her name was Angie Gilliam and she was from Scotland Beach too.  She was working the summer at the hospital.  Even better, she was a student at Apalachee High and had been in some of his classes.

Chase took an immediate liking to Angie.  She was quite different from Cindy Benitez, and Angie knew all about the “Hound Dog Affair,” from girls gossiping at school.  Angie went to the same school as Chase, but was a year younger.  They liked each other immediately and started dating almost immediately.

Chase liked Angie in some ways because she could see through all the bluster and teenaged boy-bragging to the real person underneath…a person whom Angie decided was actually pretty sensitive and even artistic.  Angie encouraged Chase in his artistic and especially musical gifts and Chase began an intense love affair with a musical instrument called a go-tone.  He even helped set up a small techjam band called Croc-Boys, which did a few gigs around town and had the great honor of opening for a better known band at the Junior-Senior Prom.  Chase got to play go-tone in a few opening sets at the prom, then leave the stage, change clothes and take his date Angie to the more formal part of the same prom.  His head was spinning from the clouds that night.

As a senior, Chase surprised his parents by expressing a desire to take Typing.  He had a reason: Angie was going to be in there too.  Both Mack and Cynthia knew what was going on, but they approved. 

Senior year was a wonderful time for Chase.  He did better in his studies, dated Angie and their relationship deepened, played a few gigs with the Croc-Boys and pondered college.  Neither Mack nor Cynthia pushed him about college, knowing he would make up his own mind anyway.  Mack even broached the idea of his youngest son coming in as a partner in the surf shop.  Chase was noncommittal but the idea intrigued him.

Chase graduated from Apalachee High in June 2121.  He decided to work that summer at the Turtle Key Surf and Board Shop.

It was only a week after graduation, that he and Angie took a little canoe trip out to Half Moon Cove one Saturday afternoon, to drink some beer, ‘slam some jam’(i.e. listen to techjam music on their slates), and do a little loving.  But their love making would be interrupted by a strange, suddenly appearing waterspout and some really heavy surf just offshore from Half Moon Cove.

The Farpool had broken through into Chase and Angie’s space-time.

Personality and Character:

Chase Meyer gives one the impression of a happy-go-lucky fellow.  He seems to be unconcerned about anything and to live in the moment.  He seems to many people, even those who know him, to be almost like a child. This isn’t true but his outward demeanor is often mistaken for childlike innocence and wide-eyed wonder at the world.

Chase is motivated by curiosity, by learning and especially experiencing new things.  Some might call him an adrenaline junkie…he likes to experience things himself.  He does get a rush out of new experiences.  He is not one to spend a lot of time studying things.  Detailed learning is not something he does well.  He prefers to do things.  He learns by doing.

There are exceptions to this.  Chase likes sea sports and he likes music, especially a genre popular in the early 22^nd century called techjam.  He’s always been intrigued by being able to make sounds and make songs.  He likes to sing.  He can find within himself the discipline to do something he wants to do, like learn to play the go-tone, jam with the Croc-Boys, and learn how to scuba dive safely.  His Dad Mack sometimes has to restrain his impulsive, somewhat head strong son.  Scuba diving does require attention to detail and following safe practices.  Mack has hammered that into his son’s head for years.  But his nature is impulsive.

Chase is an ocean bum.  He grew up around the ocean and has spent most of his life around oceans.  He has maintained a lifelong interest in great sea stories, and great sea explorers.  He doesn’t normally read a lot but he likes to follow their lives and stories on tablet shows from time to time.  In his dreams, he sometimes fancies himself as a great explorer.  He has the curiosity and the impulsiveness and the sense of daring.  One of his great loves is cave diving in the Big Bend and central Florida areas.  It can be dangerous.  That’s why he likes it.

What does Chase imagine himself doing ten years from now?  His Dad Mack has offered him an opportunity to come into the surf shop business as a partner, but deep down inside, Chase doesn’t see himself as a businessman.  Mack wants to expand.  Chase wants to dive.

Although he doesn’t worry a whole lot about the future, when asked, Chase would probably say he sees himself as some kind of explorer.  There aren’t too many frontiers left on Earth for explorers.  Most of the oceans are being mapped by robots, by the early 22^nd century.  People live permanently on Mars and the Moon and in the asteroid belt.  Maybe he could explore Europa or some icy outworld.  Frontiers and new challenges beckon to him. 

The opportunity to go through the Farpool and experience another world like Seome is a challenge and opportunity that Chase Meyer could never resist.

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Of course, not every author needs to go into this much detail.  But it helps me keep things straight.  Not only that, this kind of preparation can sometimes be lifted ‘word-for-word’ right into the story and massaged slightly to make it flow. 

I have done this with most of my main characters.

The next post to The Word Shed will look at more background to The Farpool, and cover what sorts of little mind tricks I sometimes have to play on myself to keep motivated and keep ‘in the story’ mentally and emotionally.

See you April 18.

Phil B

 

 

 

“Speaking in Alien Tongues”

One of the great challenges in writing science fiction about alien places and people is language.  How much alien language and jargon do you use?  The best answer is enough to give the reader a sense of an alien place and culture, but not so much as to make the story unreadable.  It’s always a juggling act.

In a previous post, I had this to say about the language used by my marine aliens in The Farpool, who live on an oceanic world called Seome…

The Language

Seomish is designed phonetically to carry well in a water medium. Hard, clicking consonants are common.  The ‘p’ or ‘puh’ sound, made by violent expulsion of air is also common.  Modulation of the voice stream, particularly at high frequencies (sounding much like a human whistle) produces the characteristic “wheeee” sound, which is a root of many words.  Translation from Seomish to human languages like English requires some inspired speculation, since so many Seomish phrases seem to be little more than grunts or groans, modulated in frequency and duration.

Most Seomish words are grouped according to several characteristics: (1) Who is speaking (the personal); (2) who is being spoken to (the indicative); (3) state of mind of the speaker (the conditional); (4) the kel-standing of the conversants (the intimant).

Each classification has a set of characteristic pre-consonants, to indicate the nature of the coming words, etc. Thus:

1.     k’, kee, t’

2.     tch, g, j, oot

3.     m’, p’, puh’ (both anger, dislike, distaste, etc), sh, sz (both joyful)

4.     each kel identifies itself with a unique set of capitalized consonants, like a vocal coat of arms.  Example: t’milee, or CHE’oray…Seomish  versus Timily or Chory…English.

 

 

And just to emphasize the point, here are some words commonly used in the story, along with their definitions…

 

Glossary

AK’LOOSH:        The Ponkti doctrine that predicts the end of the world by a giant, globe-circling tidal wave.  According to most interpretations, the Ponkti are chosen by Shooki to survive the catastrophe, by burying themselves underground, until the danger is passed, after which they will rule the world.  Ak’loosh is the reason usually given as explanation for the tendency of the Ponkti to isolation.

ARCTOSS:          A four-player game common to Omt’or in which the participants float at the corners of a square with three or more open cones in the middle.  The object is too weighted balls into the cones in such a way as to amass the most points.  Sometimes played with artificial current generators to stir things up.

AZHTU:              In Seomish mythology, a terrible serpent granted dominion by Shooki over the Notwater, the Highwater and the Deepwater, in exchange for peace and tranquility in the Middlewater.  More generally, any form of evil especially in unknown waters.  There are legends of renegade kels roaming the Serpentines who worship Azhtu.

BEAT:                 An echo unit of distance.

EM’KEL:             A basic subdivision of the kel, usually based on mutual interest, often enduring for hundreds of mah.  Em’kels are egalitarian, communal groups, in effect, families since the kel itself is too large to provide much care.

EMTEMAH:        A unit of time—one sixth of a mah (see MAH).  About three Terran months.

EM’TOO:            The berth space or home chamber of the em’kel.  Usually a domicile not partitioned physically but by “curtains” of sound and/or scent.  Em’kels often share the same housing pod or space including cooking, cleaning and other facilities but sleeping, meeting and work areas are always separate.

FREE-BOND:     The act of spiritually binding any member of the kel to the will of the Metah for a specified period of time.  Basically a contractual relationship entered into for the purpose of doing something the Metah would rather not be associated with.  Free-bonds can be used for anything but have come to be employed in espionage and intelligence work in modern times, thus a certain social stigma results from the public knowing a person is bound this way.  Failure to carry out the stipulations requires the bound one to take his own life in shame.  The bond is cemented by consuming a vial, called a pot’l, of the Metah’s blood.  The incentives are many: loyalty, patriotism, special favors from the Metah.

 

GISU:                   A fruit plant, cultivated for its potent juice extract and tasty pulp.  It can be eaten whole (the rind is slightly stimulating) but the popular way is to poke a hole and suck.  The taste is tart and lingering.

HOLDPOD:         Any synthetic pod, sac or drum used to hold personal items.  Often made of plastic, these vessels are among the most common of domestic utensils and are also used as luggage on long trips.  The true holdpod is a small, oval egg-shaped container that opens and closes like a clam shell.

JEE’OT:              A form of punishment, practiced by the kel against an offender as designated by the Metah.  Fairly serious, it is a period of time in which the offender is ignored, not spoken to and treated as if he didn’t exist.  The effect of this varies but it usually creates frustration at the very least and forces the recipient to examine his character in some detail.

KEK’OT:             The warrior-select that each generation creates to do battle with Azhtu.  A form of ritual sacrifice.

KEL:                    Any of the five great nation-families—Omt’or, Ork’et, Ponk’et, Sk’ort or Eep’kos.  Can also mean life itself, or water, comfort, home or any of several dozen other similar meanings.  The root word “kel” is the most commonly used component of words in the Seomish language.

You get the idea.  I may well include this as part of an appendix at the end of The Farpool.  Seome is a fully realized world with intelligent people and a language and culture suitable to their environment.

Whatever an SF writer does regarding language should be internally consistent.  It has to sound right and that ‘sound’ has to be carried through the whole story.  Also, a little goes a long way. To help matters, I have invented a device called an echopod for this story. 

Two of my main characters are Chase and Angie, Earth people who go through the Farpool and wind up on Seome.  The Seomish are marine people.  So how do Chase and Angie live and communicate among intelligent marine people?  Through the echopod.  They also undergo a procedure called em’took, which helps them adapt to the marine environment…it makes them a sort of amphibian, able to live in and out of the water. The echopod works as a translation device and a sort of encyclopedia-dictionary.  Seomish gets translated into 22^nd century American English and vice versa through this device.  Also, when I want to convey some factual information to the reader, I have one of the Seomish characters tell Chase or Angie to check it out on their echopods.  This gives me an opportunity to show them learning, through this device, about aspects of life on Seome.  Problem solved…except, again, a little goes a long way. 

I’ve even worked out a way for Angie to do a sort of diary-journal, using her own echopod.  This gives her (and me) the chance to comment on story action, problems, feelings, etc.

It’s a fairly common SF ‘writerly’ device. 

Use language in an alien setting carefully, to amplify the story and in such a way as to not slow it down or bog the reader down in arcane linguistic gymnastics.

Remember, if it sounds funny to a reader’s ears, it probably isn’t a good idea. 

Next post will be on April 11.

See you then.

Phil B.